I Wish I Knew

As you sit next to me, so close yet so many worlds away,

I feel more for you with each new day.

I’m afraid to look at you, for fear of giving myself away.

Sometimes I think maybe you try to get a look at me.

Or is that just my fantasy?

Am I just leading myself on, just like I’ve always done?

Or are you actually the one?

I wish I could ask you.

I wish I knew, just what it was I was getting myself into.

Someplace Else

Someday I’ll be able to go.

I’ll be able to be free from the strangled webs of yesterday

that remain with me in this town forever.

I’ll live in a place where no one knows my mistakes

and where they all know what it takes to be honest.

Oh, sweet honesty, where did you go?

When did you slip form my grip?

About the same time I lost grip on reality.

Sometimes I think I’ve got a hold on things again,

but the second I start feeling secure I lose it all again.

Someday I’ll be able to go.

All the broken dreams of yesterday will be forgotten,

like all the tears that I’ve shed.

Empty

Empty promises coming from an empty mind, drained of all strength and imagination.

Looking into a mirror, seeing herself through empty eyes.

Eyes that have looked into this mirror and seen a girl turn into nothing.

Growing taller, yet no more wiser than a child.

Always thinking she’s found the one to take her pain inside the emptiness away, 

but she’s always wrong.

She takes a hit of happiness to take away her pain.

Or maybe a sip of sunshine to brighten her gray day.

She longs to be free of life’s problems.

She longs to be loved.

Yet no one wants to take another look at the emptiness inside.

She looks up at the stars in an altered state of mind.

Tears of guilt sober her up, leaving only teh emptiness behind.

She vows, “NO MORE! I can’t stand the guilt!”

Yet she takes one more hit.

Hoping that when she exhales all of her worries and fears will exit with the smoke,

but it never does.

There’s no point, no point at all.

Far

So far away.

All of a sudden, you’re just so far away.

Doesn’t anybody stay together anymore?

Can’t you stay here with me?

I wish I could hold you now, but you’re so far away.

I long for you.

So much more every day.

I’d do anything to bring you back,

and I’d make you stay.

You would never again have to go so far away.

I love you now,

and I loved you then.

But I can’t stay loving you if stay

so far away. 

For Granted

The look in your eyes.

The beat of your heart.

The things I took for granted.

You were always there, but now you gone,

and I had no chance to to tell you I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for taking it all for granted.

The sunrise, the sunset, and all the life in between.

The grasses soft green color, the smell of the rain,

and the sunshine on my face.

Walking down the street, you were always there.

The little things that make life worth living.

The morning cup of coffee, with the days first cigarette.

The look in your eyes, the beat of your heart.

The things I took for granted.

The things I’d die to have back.

Show Me

Show me.

Show me where my true love grows.

Not where I run to hide, but where my true love grows.

Where it’s always grown, I suppose.

I always get hurt when I try to pick it.

This other place is not true love.

It’s protection, it’s hiding.

I can’t keep hiding, but neither can you.

I’ve tried to get my true love in the place where it’s always grown.

And I guess I’ve always known.

Soon the time will come and we’ll hide no more.

You’ll call to me and I’ll step out.

Together we won’t get hurt, and what we’d always hoped would happen, will.

Show me.

Help Me

I cannot smile, you’re gone.

It’s over.

I can’t wipe away the tears.

Saying goodbye is never hard, but tonight it was.

Help me.

I can’t smile.

Tell me the truth please, it can’t be worse than what I already feel.

Help me.

I hate love.

I hate the pain.

I can’t stand this confusion.

Help me, please.

Help me, and in return I’ll give you the love you deserve.

Am I right?

What is this?

It’s not him (but I thought it was).

It’s you (I guess I knew it would be).

It’s not her (you think it is).

It’s me (do you understand?).

Help me.

 

Waiting

Someday the love I have to give will be given to the one who deserves it.

If he shows up.

I get tired of waiting sometimes.

What if he never comes?

What if he misses that bus that’s waiting to take him to his destiny?

Then where will I be?

Back here to where I am right now, wondering what happened.

I hate waiting.

Half of our lives our waisted away by waiting.

If I counted all the hours I’ve waited, you’d be surprised.

In fact, I’m waiting right now.

Waiting for this period to end.

I hate waiting. 

My Bleeding Heart

To you I give my bleeding heart,

That should’ve been yours from the very start.

I wish you could know how I feel.

My life no longer seems real.

I guess I set myself up for the fall.

I believed in you, I wish I knew what kept us apart,

this reason that has broken my heart.

Can’t you see the real me?

When I smile, it doesn’t mean I’m happy.

Smiling is just another mask I use to hide my face when I look at you.

Unrequited love is nothing new.

I guess I should’ve known you’d never love me from the start, but still to you I give my bleeding heart.

Maybe someday you’ll see, just what it means to turn someone away, who loves you so much.

Someone who longs only for your touch.

So unto you I bestow this gift, for there is no one else to give it to.

Unrequited love is nothing new, so to you I give my bleeding heart.

 

Someday

I see you now.

Things have changed so much. Your not the same sweet kind man I fell in love with. 

I gave you my dreams, and you threw them all away.

You broke my heart, and now you don’t even care anymore.

You changed my life, you made me smile, but now you’re gone and you never said goodbye.

I’m left alone, nothing but memories remain.

You helped me through some hard times, just to leave me, hopeless.

Now that you’re gone, what do I do?

Someday I’ll know how to be happy again.

Someday I’ll be able to let you go, and go on living without you.

But until someday comes, I’ll go it alone.